#Someone deserves a little fourth wall breaking

[agelessforestchildren]

Eloise breaks the forth wall. And only her. She see's the camera and thinks of it as another person (accidental murder is just a normal thing in minecraft) The thing is she thinks everyone else can see the camera. So sometimes while in a conversation with another witch she talks to the camera for it's input only for the other witches to look at her like she's crazy.

[awkward-walking-potato]

Can I request headcanons for Remy, Wade, and Logan would think about his gender neutral s/o always made sure to tell him that they love him when possible please?

Here's how Remy, Wade, and Logan might react and feel about a gender-neutral S/O who always makes sure to tell them "I love you" whenever possible:

Remy LeBeau (Gambit):

Remy is a charmer by nature, and he's used to giving out sweet words, but hearing "I love you" from you is something that never fails to touch his heart. Every time you say it, he feels a warmth spread through him, like he's just been wrapped in a blanket of affection. Remy knows he has a checkered past, and sometimes, he wonders if he deserves the kind of love you give him so freely. But you always manage to reassure him with those three little words.

He might play it cool on the outside, flashing you that roguish smile of his, but inside, it means the world to him. He’ll always reply with a playful, “Je t'aime aussi, ma chère,” making sure to add a flirtatious wink. But later, when you're both alone, Remy will pull you close, resting his forehead against yours, and tell you in a softer, more serious tone just how much your love means to him. He’s not one to take such things lightly, and he’ll always make sure you know how much he treasures every “I love you” you offer.

Wade Wilson (Deadpool):

Wade is a chaotic whirlwind of emotions, and your constant declarations of love are like a lifeline for him. Underneath his endless jokes and fourth-wall-breaking antics, Wade has a lot of insecurities and trauma. Hearing you say "I love you" so often helps to quiet some of the darker thoughts that occasionally plague him.

Every time you tell Wade you love him, his heart skips a beat. He'll respond in a million different ways, from exaggeratedly swooning, pretending to faint, or suddenly bursting into song about how amazing you are. But sometimes, when he's feeling particularly vulnerable, Wade will drop the act for a moment, his voice dropping to a soft, almost disbelieving tone as he says, "You really mean that, huh?"

He might joke around a lot, but your love is one of the few things he takes completely seriously. Wade treasures every "I love you" like it's a precious gift, and he’ll never let you forget just how much he loves you back—even if he has to do it in the most ridiculous ways possible.

Logan (Wolverine):

Logan isn’t the type to be overly expressive with words, and he’s lived long enough to have lost more people than he can count. So, every time you say "I love you," it hits him deep. Logan’s used to living with the weight of his past and the pain of loss, so your constant affirmations of love are a grounding force for him. They remind him that, despite everything, he has something—and someone—worth living for.

He might grunt or mumble in response, but that’s just Logan’s way of hiding how much it truly affects him. If you catch him at the right moment, when he’s had a drink or two, or after a particularly rough day, Logan will pull you into a tight embrace and mutter a gruff, “Love you too, darlin’.” He might not always say it back directly, but he shows it in the way he protects you, the way he’s always there when you need him, and the way he lets his guard down around you.

For Logan, your “I love you” is a beacon in a world that’s often felt dark and cold. It’s a reminder that, no matter how many battles he fights or how many wounds he carries, there’s someone who sees the man beneath the beast and loves him just the same.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Midas Man Reaction

I watched this using a google drive version from @skydiamonded thank you, thank you!

Spoilers under the cut!!!

Weird looking at this guy and trying to tell myself he's Brian. He's a very Brian type of guy but still he's not Brian. 

I do love the first person narration and the instantly shattered fourth wall.

I love seeing his Jewish faith and culture in a way that wasn't publicly as prominent when he was alive. 

Honestly didn't know adding a significant record store to their furniture store was Brian's idea. I'm looking every new thing I learn up because biopics can be very misleading, but this is fun!

I am absolutely Reveling in the contrast between crisp, classy Brian and the squalor of the cavern. So good! 

Guys I'm a sucker for this stuff. John comes on stage swigging something talking in awful German and then there's Paul whoring it up flirting having a personal conversation with some girl in the crowd. And the John/Paul banter! I'm falling for it so hard. 

(John girls I will give it to you, you guys got shafted with the looks of this actor)

Same, Brian. I get it. I'd be in love with them too. 

The incessant mocking of his posh accent Thank You!

Paul's face. I've definitely seen this irl. He loves watching John do his acerbic wit thing. Reminds me of that one quote that basically said Paul used John's cruelty to his own advantage. 

The confidence of Brian just deciding to be a manager. The actor is doing such a good job of capturing that duality in Brian of part timid awkwardness part brazen optimism. 

The Spain dialogue! How can they tease that and not include the trip?!?! Also John dropping Hemingway and Brian's pleasant surprise. Just you wait, Brian. 

“My Gran takes pills for that” genuinely got me.

The way they look at each other is accurate even if John doesn't look a thing like himself

“I think you're special. I think you'll go all the way. And I promise I will look after you.” Whether Brian said it that way out loud at the time or not it's what he felt. And that was so so important. They needed someone to say that and mean it so badly. Look how he's looking at them!

“Like family. Only better. No secrets from each other.” Break my fucking heart not even twenty minutes in why don't you? Brian you deserved to live in the future. I'm so sorry you had to be put here in the time you were.

I will say the makeover breaks my heart. I get that it was necessary, but it hurts. 

Ringo's grey steak and his accent and his friendly tough older cousin demeanor!!!

You hear Paul singing as they drive up, fantastic. And the little shoulder pat as they go in, “alright Brian.” John's little line about the time jump is fun too. 

Pete's drumming is patently bad. Thank You!

The whole John railing on Brian and Paul telling him to leave off I think is probably accurate, but. With all the quotes I have in my documents about Paul actually being the one who gave Brian the most trouble, I have to wonder if we're going to see that complexity or if we're going to stick to the “mean John, nice Paul” stereotypes. 

But also Paul definitely does not stick up for Pete. (Who he also picked at much more than John irl) Anyway I love to see the strategic reigning in or letting loose of John's temper for me.

Again with the class contrasts!!! These fucking snobs talking down to Brian I can't. It's just another proof of the boys’ need for him and his management. And not just because he's socially higher than them, but can you see John handling that shit well? No. That ass hat would get decked. 

The pride with which he says “My boys” to those douchebags after all of that!!!

“Asked you and Daddy for a car” is a great line.

I got so scared when that guy came up so suddenly like that because I know how violent some of those encounters were. It breaks my heart for him. 

And then the pills. It got so cold so fast. 

Those secretaries should be in charge of those record companies is what I'm getting here. 

I knew he was going to lie and say that he got them the contract. I wonder if he did irl. Something else I'll have to look up but it does make sense with what I know of Brian. He just loves them so so much. “I can't bear their disappointment when they feel I've let them down.” 

The George actor overdoes the accent a bit but I really love the facial expressions. I've seen that one a million times. 

Also love that John and Paul are facing each other. Very nice. 

No one is going to hold a candle to the actual Paul's voice but what are you going to do? 

They've got Paul's need for John's approval right though. John's already said all sorts of positive things and Paul's immediately fishing for more.

Yes! Paul is George Martin's very special favorite baby boy and it would be wrong to play it otherwise. 

I should've said this before but it's driving me crazy in this scene. Why is George's hair significantly lighter than John's? 

Interesting that it doesn't even show Brian talking to the others about sacking Pete. 

“It's my sound. They're all doing it now. Ringo.” What is this bullshit? Insinuating Ringo copied Pete's sound? Why did they put that in there? Ew, take it out!

Look at him, already so at ease and happy. I love you, Ringo! 

See I knew it was going to get more violent. Ugh it twists my stomach. And his poor terrified face when the guy says he knows him. He was so scared of his secret life having a negative affect on the boys career. And then Brian telling us straight to our faces about being brutally beaten and helping the man afterwards. It's cutting. Such a contrast from the upbeat, prideful Brian of many of the other camera-facing narrations. 

The sharp turnaround of Alastair overhearing the end of Brian's little aside here though! I love the way this movie is playing with perspective and curtains. Very much a nod to Brian's behind the scenes work on behalf of the biggest group in the history of the world. 

Love how the Beatles are annoyed that Brian doesn't offer any details about them when he's going through his lineup! Very clever, very them!

Cilla clearly knows Brian's gay and she's the first one that's made that clear. At least to me! Maybe the scene with the prellies and the Beatles teasing him about that was something. But she's the first where it's obvious she knows. And he's so moved that she's just casually okay with his sexuality.

Then we get him apologizing to his family right after. It's getting to the point where I'm like I don't know what there is to say. 

Paul being the class-conscious one. Very good, very good. 

John “might even swear” Brian “please don't” Paul “he won't” Okay I know where they're going with this it's obviously going to be the rattle your jewelry” line. But they're going with the stereotype here of Paul reigning John in when really he was backstage daring John to say it. 

Achhhh this does bug me. Okay I know I'm the most insufferable Paul girl and it's Brian's movie. But! John's little look to the side as he says that line is at Paul, not Brian. Because, like I said before, Paul had been egging him on, and he's like “see I'm doing it” 

The scene with Ed Sullivan in the burger joint is reminding me of the Elvis movie. And it's nice. If anyone else is reminded of that it'll be a stark contrast between Brian and the general or whatever his name is. 

So happy that he can connect with Nat in this way even though they're from completely different worlds in every way other than their Jewish backgrounds. 

Still overwhelmingly annoyed they took out the romance with John to invent this Tex character. For multiple reasons. It's just not the truth for one thing. For another, it's a less interesting story. Brian is less complicated. The romance is flatter. Not a fan. 

But. In one way it's nice that he gets to be in a less complicated real relationship. Unless this is going to be like the Tex from the comic book which doesn't end well at all :/. What am I saying of course it can't end well. Ugh. 

Ringo’s tummy troubles! Ringo calling John a posh puddin! Thank Fuck!

It is very much driving home the fact that they're a rare bright spot in his life. 

John starting the pillow fight all agro and then instantly backing off “now lads take it easy” we love the accuracy!

Oh. Colonel. I knew that. 

Another thing I'm going to have to look up. Did they really have to stop the show twice due to a jelly bean barrage? Actually so many fun details in this little narration. A fish truck? Really? You couldn't have chosen any other vessel? hashtag acab. 

“I” made it clear? They're saying it's Brian's decision they won't perform to segregated audiences? Mkay. He's fantastic enough with his actual progressive actions and ideals. You can give the boys some credit for their own actions without losing anything for Brian. 

Brian screaming with all the girls. Cute! I do just have to say this is a George Martin story. But I'm sure Brian did it at some point too.

That stings! Going from all this huge success Brian of Brian's to his dad looking proud, making a toast, and I assumed it must be a party in Brian's honor but no. It's his brother's wedding. 

Wait I'm confused now. Does Cilla not know? 

I do love that she's concerned for him and expressing that. Because we know the boys aren't going to do that. 

Poor baby he's absolutely elated that Tex is here.

I don't want to shame like I have read that Brian liked it rough although who knows if the writers of these statements are homophobes leaning into stereotypes of the time anyway there's obviously nothing wrong with rough sex. But I want Tex to be sweet and gentle with him because it looks like Brian is flinching and why wouldn't he be after what he's been through?

Also I hate that he's like “how can I get him to love me and stay with me etc” and he says he'll make him a star even though obviously he can't promise that and he's so so stretched thin already. 

Yep I hate Tex more and more. The yelling is awful holy shit.

Clearly Brian is only happy when he's with the Beatles. 

So this is them trying to put a little “vibe” between John and Brian? Having them have a "deep looking" discussion from a safe distance at a crowded party? Not really working imo.

But this is nice. I've seen this picture before. Look at cute cuddly Ringo. I adore that about him. For the one of them with the toughest background to be the most comfortable and easy with his affection. It's beautiful. 

What the fuck!!! Tex is openly just chatting up someone else at Brian's party and Brian sees him as he's bringing them drinks and just retreats like that's what he deserves. Somebody give this sweet man some actual love!

The stark contrast between the silly, upbeat -- hectic yes -- but happy 64 tour narration and this. It's almost black and white it's so dim and muted and though the music is slow, Brian is talking very very fast and the drinks and pills are much faster than last time too. 

Again. Interesting that it's presented as Brian who declined Marcos in the Philippines. “They grab the boys and they drag them away.” I've never heard an account say it was that bad, but maybe it was? I don't know, I think if it was, John and George would've said so at some point post break-up. 

This is very interesting cinematic work. I don't know shit about anything but it strikes me as a very interesting choice to make this terrible time gradually fade into extremely sharp colorless chaos. The cute little maps and cut aways to contextualizing scenery are gone and it’s just Brian panicking backed by silhouetted violence.

And then he forces himself to get it together, talks slower, straightens himself out, presumably because he does what he has to do to protect the boys. 

“Right. Are you coming in?” “Do you think that I would let you out of my sight, John?” It's so good. I hope this is what it was. 

Paul's protective press conference answer comes off a bit more "team player" than "angry boyfriend" for one reason. IRL he jumps in, on this occasion and many others, without being addressed at all. Here, they ask specifically for a comment from the other three and George's comment comes first. Annoying. But overall t's very well done. And Brian is so proud of them all for being so strong in the face of all this stupidity. 

I love that Brian is protective of them and supportive of their decision to stop touring. I wonder how much of a say they actually gave him in that. 

“The press misquotes them, they can't be themselves, and if you can't be yourself . . .” He's so sweet. This takes me back to the family without secrets thing at the beginning. It's all so “well I know how awful this or that can be so I'm going to spare them from that” 

I didn't know creme or the who were involved with Brian too. Another thing to look up! 

Thank goodness for Nat Weiss. If only he and Brian could've been together. 

I know it's not fair to expect too much of them with everything they were going through but I kind of hate all four Beatles right now. Brian crying about Paul not coming to a party and Paul's letter (well- meant that man had a very fucked up perspective on love and other complexities himself) about Brian just choosing not to be depressed is echoing in my head. 

Yes, Brian's shit father. There was something you didn't give your son. Only the most important thing there is. 

Eek they look so shockingly different. I wonder if it was that jarring for him. Why is it John that doesn't have the mustache? It was just Paul that had it, then the other three immediately followed, then just Paul that shaved it. Who knows what they're thinking here. Probably just didn't think about it, or maybe the John actor was just too hideous with a mustache?

“And I have a proposal.” “Brian, I do.” “Finally!” See, that dialogue could've worked so much better if they'd been truthful about the sexual side to John and Brian's relationship. 

“I think I'll be leaving the band now,” says George, at the mention of a film. I'm dead. 

Why is Ringo wearing tons of blush and eyeshadow? 

This little moment is great though just because it's John and Paul interested and participating in the direction of the band and George and Ringo along for the ride. 

The Paul actor did such a great job. His little giggle at John's dad joke is perfect. That's exactly what Paul sounds like.  

Why are they leaning so hard into George being the funny one in this movie? This whole movie it's him with the little quips. The phone thing is very Paul's humor though. Good, good. God I'm so annoyingly obsessed with him. 

It's very much leaning into the argument that Brian's death was accidental. I like to think that's the truth and there's certainly a strong case. The big plans with the Beatles and outside them too. The fact that his mother very much needed him after his father's death and he's got plans to take care of her. But there are also sources that say he was actually hospitalized due to suicide attempts. So. I don't know. 

Now we do the Buddhist bit. Arms around. That's something very different. But this makes me think of that quote, and I hope they did this too and I hope they included Brian.

John's just so tiny lmao I'm actually obsessed!

I love that the last line was about Brian saying he was “on top of the world”. 

You know what, I think we can choose to believe what we want about Brian’s death, and until someone presents me with empirical untenable objective evidence, I’m choosing to believe it was accidental. Doesn’t mean it’s not absolutely tragic. Doesn’t mean he didn’t have serious mental health problems. But it does mean he wanted to stick around despite all the hardships in his life for the good he was able to do and the joy he took in doing it.

[fatkish]

Y/n x JJK boys

Itadori: Think you can unlock the door for us?

Nanami: Sure, I just need a couple of things. Gojo, can I have your credit card?

Gojo: Sure, just make sure not to bend it.

Nanami: Thanks. Now (Y/n), break down the door!

Gojo: Huh!?!

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): I never said I was gonna get back together with them. But I was thinking, they're in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave them a call?

Itadori: No. No, (Y/n), it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: (Y/n) calls Nanami. Number five: Gojo gets eaten by a shark.

Gojo: I’m Gojo, and I approve the order of that list.

——————————————————————————

Gojo: *tapping fingers on table*

Itadori: *taps fingers back furiously*

Nanami: …What’s going on?

(Y/n): Morse code. They’re talking.

Gojo: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -

Itadori: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

——————————————————————————

Nanami: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.

(Y/n): You are my reward.

*meanwhile*

Itadori: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.

Gojo: True, you can be really difficult at times.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): I love them both, but how do I propose to two people?

Mohito : Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause.

(Y/n): Won’t people think it’s weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though?

Mohito : I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): You don’t deserve me.

Mohito : At your worst or your best?

(Y/n): I don’t have a worst.

Mohito : Because you’re already at your worst?

——————————————————————————

(Y/n), texting Mohito : Hey do you like anyone?

Mohito : Yeah you

(Y/n): Oh, I'm sorry we're just friends

Mohito : *Yeah, you?

Mohito : Oh haha sorry lol

(Y/n): *dies inside*

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?

Itadori: Sukuna, probably.

Sukuna: watch it you little punk!

——————————————————————————

Sukuna: Comparing Itadori and (Y/n) is like comparing apples and oranges.

Itadori: We’re both unique in our own ways?

Sukuna: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

(Y/n): Which one of us is the orange?

——————————————————————————

Itadori: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.

(Y/n): Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.

Sukuna: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Guys, my friend here is bilingual.

Sukuna: Yes.

(Y/n): Which means they like both boys and girls.

Sukuna: Ye- wait, what-

Itadori: (Y/n), that's not what bilingual means-

(Y/n): Shhh, it's okay Sukuna. I still love you, man.

Sukuna & Itadori: ...

(Y/n): bUT NOT LIKE THAT-

——————————————————————————

*(y/n) and Itadori building a treehouse, after putting the last wall up*

Itadori: are we done?

(Y/n): almost just got to get the door nails *runs into wall with door drawn on it*

(Y/n): *slowly turns to look at Itadori* Itadori.

Itadori: what?

(Y/n) *motions with their head to the drawn on door* Itadori, where’s the door hole?

Itadori: it goes right there *points to drawn on door* see it drew it with a magic marker

(Y/n): you were supposed to cut it out with the power saw

Itadori: I’m gonna

(Y/n): oh really?

Itadori: yes

(Y/n): so go get the power saw *motions head towards the drawn on door*

Itadori: okay I will *walks right into drawn on door.

Itadori: *Knocks on drawn on door and begins looking around frantically* okay, I see the problem

(Y/n): oh, do ya?!

Sukuna: DUMBASSES!!

——————————————————————————

[littlelambscandyland]

Four Versus One (Part One)

Platonic Yandere Rise Brothers x Fem!Reader

Warnings- Tv Self Awareness, Panic Attacks, Reader has siblings and a niece, Stalking (if you count watching someone thru a screen without their knowledge as stalking)

You lounged gingerly on the couch. Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles droning on as your niece starred in wonderment at the screen. You'd introduced her to the show as means to get her to stop making you watch (insert stupid show here). You told your sibling you'd watch over them the next few days as the birth of their second child happened. Today felt like it went on a bit longer. Tonight was the last night that your niece would be here.

 You couldn't say you didn't have fun. The show you stopped watching years ago was now, apparently, coming out with new episodes and you and your niece hyper fixated on it hard. With all that said, however, you were glad to get your space back. Glad to have your own little bubble of childishness without the responsibility of another human.

Deciding it was a calm enough scene not to be missed, you got up to get a well needed snack. 

Calling into your niece. "You want anything from the kitchen, chicken pop?"

She giggles at the odd, but well deserved nickname, and asks you for orange juice.

After pouring drinks and grabbing popcorn you made your way back to the living room. The scene had switched to Donatello's lab. They were making some sort of gun. Words like "portal" and "interdimensional travel" were being thrown around.

You wondered slightly as you laid the snacks out what this weapon had to do with anything. The episode didn't seem to call for it, but maybe you missed a more vital scene than you thought?

You thought a bit more as you watched the show how different it was from what you remembered. There were more fourth wall breaks and sometimes one of the turtles would randomly throw out compliments to the watcher.

Not that you minded the change. It was just different. Nice, but different.

~~~Time skip brought to you buy me writing this in my therapy waiting room~~~

You had successfully made the trade off of your niece, delivering her back into the hands of one of her parents. You'd cleaned up the house, and finally felt yourself relax.

You had turned the tv off for a little while. A part of your agreement with your niece to wait to watch the show again together. Obviously, that was a lie. You had turned the tv back on after cleaning. Ordering a pizza and deciding to have a "me night". 

There was something you noticed when you turned it back on though. The fourth wall breaks and the compliments happen more often. The plot seemed thrown out the window and everything seemed almost more mature than before. 

Because of all of this you made the executive decision to Google it. It'd been a while since you'd been a part of the fandom so you figured it'd be quicker just to get straight to the point.

You felt your heart drop from what you read. Confusion and honest panic grew in its place. There were only two seasons. That was impossible. There were obviously more. What had you been watching? 

"Uh ohhhhhh," You heard Leonardo's voice drone. "Hey guys, I thinks she's figured it out!" He calls his brothers.

Your eyes wide as the character seems to stare into your soul. The others gather into the screen. A mixture of smiles and anxiety are what stared back with animated eyes.

"I see. So she did... Ahem. Greetings, Darling!" Donatello says, clearly staving off his own anxiety.

"Hi..." You answer. You hoped this was a dream. Fear wrapped up into a ball in your gut. A feeling telling you to cut off the tv, to run far away and not look back ever again.

"Awww! She's so cute! Look at her eyes, they're so pretty!" Michaelangelo exclaims happily.

"We know dude. You're so cute doll. Really you are." Raphael addresses you with a nervous smile.

You look down in panic. The only logical thought is you had lost your mind. This is a dream, or you've snapped and this was a hallucination.

"What is happening?" You pant out. "This isn't happening. This cannot be happening..." Your breath ragged, and your voice hoarse. Tears gathering in your eyes.

They're faces shift in remorse and panic. Four animated eyes looking guiltily at you with frowns. Grimaces held by all as your body flies into a panic attack.

"Oh no, no. Don't cry, it's ok cariño. You're ok..." Leonardo coos at you in an attempt to calm you. 

The others gather in on the "comfort". They're words prove worthless as you spiral further. 

Finally gathering the courage you throw your phone at the tv in a frenzy. Perhaps not the best choice as the momentum and pressure crack your tv. Fizzles heard from inside the machine can be heard as the broken screen cuts off.

Sad for you, your nightmare doesn't end there.

[goldensunset]

for drawing requests, perhaps the khux gang with what pokemon they'd have? (or maybe just a few of them lol)

ok i would Love to actually draw this kinda thing someday but it would take more than i have in me atm so i will simply ramble about it. some of these are what i think they would realistically have in some sort of pokémon au and half of these are just like pokémon i think match their vibe

first off. the entire porygon line fits brain PERFECTLY. it’s like an artificial computer program thing (also its existence is meant to be an ironic fourth wall break lol). meant to be a helpful program that fights bugs and viruses in cyberspace. its final evolution porygon-z is where it gets interesting… it has grown in power, but it’s been corrupted by dubious data itself…….. as another option uhhhhh gallade. a very noble and mindful and steadfast soldier. i just love gallade. he also deserves a steel type. screw it klefki the literal key ring pokémon

lauriam was born to have a roserade let’s be so real it’s grass/poison… looks like a lovely bouquet of flowers but it can Kill you… plus it even has like the dapper cape thing. it’s a no brainer from me on this one. but i’ll give him a runner up or two. he deserves some ghost types too, becoming a shell of himself… i’m feeling poltchageist/sinistcha. grass/ghost types associated with like hospitality and seeming all proper but also it’s a ruse and they will kill you. cofagrigus is a consideration almost entirely only for its pokémon sword entry that says it ‘no longer remembers it was once human’ and also like grabbing and trapping the living. marluxia…

would it be funny to give strelitzia a grass/ghost type like phantump (dead child) or is that too sad. ok how about she gets lilligant. very beautiful elegant grass type with an orange flower. alternatively she gets floette- it’s not a grass type but like very clearly associated with flowers (and also. dying. if we’re taking gen 6 lore info account. and then being brought back to life but at devastating costs and turning the person who was desperate to do so into a monster)

skuld……… i’m really indecisive here. i think psychic and fire and steel are all good choices. first thoughts here it’s gotta be something to do with stars of course. y’know what? i think she deserves cosmog privileges. little star baby that can evolve into one of two legendary pokémon. she has that aura. (if i don’t just straight up give her necrozma lol). but also gothitelle is a really good pick for her bc it’s associated with both the stars and with seeing the future (although the emotional detachment and terror don’t fit that well). maybe delphox? but also she deserves a sword. honedge. screw it. zacian. skuld deserves a legendary

ventus….. if we’re talking khux era specifically my immediate thought was mimikyu. it’s Gotta be mimikyu. desperate for love and attention, taking the form of someone else and trying to fit in…. and zorua of course!!! i mean ig it’s more like zorua would be his darkness that shapeshifted to deceive him but like that works!! that works. the tricky fox pokémon… and because i’m not done being evil i want him to have a pokémon with the ability infiltrator. cute option is whimsicott. option relevant to vanitas’ later existence is ninjask (bc think about shedinja…) option relevant to him probably deserving a flying type is the hoppip line

elrena gets electric types obviously but she isn’t quite as vicious as larxene so she gets like. pachirisu. plus the color scheme works. or shinx

and last but not least ephemer the guy of all ever. this one is really hard….others have assigned him pokémon before that i agree with, such as rosie giving him arcanine (he deserves an Ouppy and it’s a noble majestic beast) and roadie giving him eldegoss (dandelion seeds….). it’s a wild thought but i also kind of think of mew… bc it’s said to be kinda like the genetic ancestor of all pokémon… the nexus from which all worlds spring… i think ephy deserves some sort of mythical or legendary. i’m feeling victini… he always wins somehow am i right… and he’s like sora’s good luck victory charm in kh3… but also i think he should have a water type. suicune privileges be upon ye. no yknow what he gets volcarona it has the fire type and it’s like worshipped as a sun deity for having saved the land. idk. half this post is me trying to justify giving my favs to my characters lol

oh and how could i forget the player… immediate thought is spinda. there are something like four billion different forms right. representing how player is a customizable avatar. for deeper lore reasons how about basculegion the ghost fish. ‘clads itself in the souls of comrades that perished before fulfilling their goals of journeying upstream’ those who didn’t make it out of the keyblade war or out of the fall of daybreak town etc still remain with them in spirit giving them strength, although they were the only one strong enough to survive…. (also it evolves by taking a ton of damage without dying. well it kinda does die but that’s beyond the point right)

i could probably say more and make this more coherent and provide better choices but unfortunately i think the sickness brain has finally caught up to me so i’m gonna finally hit post

[messedupfan]

Chapter 4

Summary: Wanda is anticipating Vision picking up Tommy and Billy with her protective brother around.

A/N: Happy Friday!! I hope you all enjoy!

Masterlist | All Chapters | All Stories Taglist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda wakes to her brother ringing the doorbell again. She groans, regretting every decision she made that led to this moment. She doesn't understand why her brother insists on working when the sun isn't even up yet. She gets up when he gets more persistent and she doesn't want him to disturb the boys. 

“Good morning little sister,” he greets as he hands off Luna to her. “Awe did someone not get enough sleep?” Pietro taunts. 

Her hair is a mess and her eyes are hardly open but she's still able to shoot intimidating daggers at her brother. She in fact did not get a lot of sleep. She is dreading whatever interaction she may or may not be having with Vision today. She didn't sell, pawn off, or destroy any of his stuff as she had threatened. She sat in the basement for hours willing the rage that had taken down her wall to return. But it never did. All she could think about is how happy and proud he was to have this space. She surprised him with it on their fourth wedding anniversary. Wanda had drawn out the plans, budgeted the project, got some help from Pietro and found all of the decorations. She couldn't tear down this present but she knew if she didn't, he would only ever see her as weak. 

It was only a couple of hours ago that she was able to fall asleep. Wanda was not ready for her brother's chipper energy right now. She takes Luna upstairs with her and falls fast asleep after tucking the girl into bed. Wanda wakes a few hours later to an empty bed and voices. There are many different voices, all scrambled and she is unable to make sense of their words. She lays there until she can decipher the sounds. The loud saw isn’t helpful and only makes it more unpleasant to wake up. Wanda sighs and gets out of bed and walks into her bathroom to clean up before going downstairs. 

Wanda walks down in clean clothes and wet hair. You and Pietro are focused on working and she is shocked to see you here. She looks at her smartwatch and checks the time. She hadn't realized she slept in so much. Feeling bad for the kids, she gets to work in the kitchen to make lunch as it was close to two in the afternoon. 

When you stop the loud saw, you hear noise from the kitchen and you look at Pietro to see if he noticed it too. “What?” He asks confused, then he hears some pans clash. You act fast and walk around the table to check and make sure none of the kids are hurting themselves. You relax when you see Wanda. 

“Phew, it's just you,” you say with a dramatic hand on your chest. 

Wanda looks at you funny, “Who else would it be?” 

“Well, we made sure the kids were properly distracted in the boys room, but you never know who might sneak by and get hurt,” you explain. 

“Oh,” she closes a drawer, “Thank you for watching the kids while I slept. I've got it now. And I'm starting lunch so you guys can have a break soon.” 

“That sounds great, I’ll leave you to it,” you say as you return to Pietro. “Your sister is up, she’s getting started on lunch,” you inform him. 

“Good, the last thing we need is a trip to the hospital.” He relaxes as he puts his goggles back on to start the table saw. “Now we can focus on work and not jump at every little noise.” You chuckle at his remark but feel a little more relaxed because you were so worried about the kids getting hurt while they worked. Especially Luna since she is the youngest of all of them and was a curious little girl. You already had to catch her from falling off of the kitchen counter because she wanted a cup out of the cabinet. Then Pietro had to stop her a couple of times from crossing over the tape. And although he could have woken up his sister, he felt that she deserved the time to rest. 

When lunch is ready, Wanda calls everyone to the table and everyone hungrily makes their way to the dining area that had quite an alluring aroma. The kids and the adults were starving. You wanted to be here early with Pietro so that the two of you had more time to work but you slept past your alarm. You didn't have time to fix you and Rachel breakfast, you did pick up a dozen donuts for everyone but the one donut you ate wasn't filling enough and you couldn't wait to try some more of Wanda's food. 

After lunch, while you're making Wanda laugh as she cleans up the table, a knock on the front door interrupts the moment. Wanda freezes as she looks between you and the door and you grow concerned for her. She shuts the water off and dries her hands. “Tommy, Billy, your dad is here!” She shouts from the bottom of the stairs. You stay put, not certain if you should look busy or get the door or what. 

Pietro drops his tool in the box and walks over to answer the door as the knocking gets more persistent. “Would you cut it out? Couldn't you hear her from out there? We know you're here, geez.” He gestures to the almost completely missing wall. 

“You wouldn't open the door,” Vision says as he tries to step past his former brother-in-law. “Where are my boys? I expect them to be down here and ready to leave by the time I arrive.” He checks his watch and clicks his teeth. “That woman knows this. I have a strict schedule I must abide by.” 

“Wanda is getting them,” Pietro says, his glare never faltering. You weren't used to this hostile behavior from your friend. He was the most affable, laid back person that you know. He wasn't an angry person. It sets off alarms about the type of person the twins' father is. “Why don't you go wait in your car? I hear you like the convenience of an easy escape.” Pietro found out from Billy what Vision did to his sister during drop off last Sunday. His blood is boiling at the sight of the man that was once married to his sister. A person he once had to consider family. He cannot believe he hates Wanda so much to blatantly disrespect her in front of her own children, time and time again. 

“I��d rather stand inside,” Vision says. “Unless there's some reason I shouldn't be in here.” He shoves past Pietro, only upsetting the man further, and stands in the middle of the living room. You are leaning against the stairs now, cleaning your hands with a rag. Vision notices you and with cold eyes he scoffs. “Are you what they're trying to hide from me?” He accuses. 

Your eyebrows connect in confusion on how he jumped to that conclusion. “No, I'm not here to cause any problems. I’m just helping with the repairs.” 

Vision raises his eyebrows, “Oh is that what they're calling it these days?” You shake your head seeing no reasoning with this man. “What’s your name?” You ignore him as you walk across the room to return to your work and he grabs you by your bicep. “I asked you a question.” His tone is meant to be threatening but you're bored by him. “You are in my house and around my boys. As a man, I have a right to know.”

“Leave them alone,” Wanda says as she walks down the stairs without her kids in sight. “They’ll be down in a few minutes. They want to finish up a round in the game they're playing. I said that it's fine and told them you would be patient.” 

Vision shakes his head as he lets you go, “And why would you do that? You know that it's my time with them now. You have no say in what is okay and what isn't until four in the afternoon next sunday.” You walk over to stand by Pietro, preparing to hold him back from making a decision he might regret later.

“Vis, they are always my kids too. I would never tell you something like that. That's ridiculous, and it's not how a custody agreement works,” Wanda says, shaking her head. “Why are you even in here? A couple of honks and I would have sent them out to you—”

“Clearly, you wouldn't! Otherwise they'd be down here!” Vision cuts her off. 

Wanda takes a beat, not wanting to start a screaming match that has the boys running down to prevent it. “Are you finally going to clean out your stuff from my basement?”

“Are you still on about that? I like the space the way it is, I'm not giving it up,” Vision replies. 

“You seemed to have no problem giving my sister up.” Pietro steps forward. “Why are you so stubborn about a damn room that's in a house you don't own?” Wanda tries to nonverbally tell him that it's not his fight but he ignores her. “Either you want your shit or you don't,” he snaps as he tries to get closer to Vision but you're quick to grab him.

“You’re mistaken, Pietro. Everything on this property is mine. I know this might be hard to wrap around your poorly developed uneducated mind. But just because I lost my name on the deed, doesn't mean I don't own it. This house was purchased under my dollar! Money I'll never get back. I will forever own it. So, if I want to keep my entertainment room for myself and my friends here, in this house, I will do as I please. Are we clear?” 

Pietro tries to breathe to calm himself down but all he sees is red. His impulses are begging to take over but he knows he can’t lose total control. He grabs the sledgehammer and fear flashes across Vision's face for a second as Pietro stomps in his direction. Wanda holds her breath, uncertain about what she is about to witness. You try to snap him out of his trance. Luckily, he storms past Vision and opens the basement door, carrying the sledgehammer with him. “Pietro, don't!” Wanda yells as she chases after her brother. 

“Wanda this is the only way he'll listen,” Pietro says as he stacks the few boxes that Wanda did pack up. Vision rushes down the stairs as well, shouting about how ridiculous it was that Wanda and her family were so upset over one room. Revealing that her mother was harassing him with phone calls and text messages and emails. 

As he arrives at the bottom of the stairs, he notices that the decorations are torn down and that the usually neat and organized place is a mess. “What the hell happened here?” Pietro wastes no time and slams the metal head of the hammer into the boxes. “Pietro! Have you gone completely mad!” Vision shouts. “What is with this family and hammers?”

Meanwhile, you are still upstairs on the main floor, waiting to escort the boys so they don't have to witness the scene happening in the basement. When Tommy and Billy are running down the stairs you overhear them arguing back and forth about how they knew they shouldn't have asked for a few extra minutes. They are blaming themselves for what's happening downstairs. “Hey boys,” you say as you step in their way. “Let's get you to your dad's car. Okay? Let the adults handle themselves.” There's a loud sound of something breaking and they rush to the open basement door. You stand in front of the door and repeat yourself.

“No, they always stop when we're there. We have to go down there,” Billy explains. You feel bad for the kids that they carry the weight of their family's problems on their shoulders. Not sure what to do, you go by your instincts and protect them from whatever is happening down there. It's not on them to end an argument. 

“Come on,” you take their hands. “I promise, everything will be okay.” As you're walking towards the front door, their footsteps are loud as the adults rush up the stairs. You aren't sure what transpired to result in Pietro holding onto Vision by the collar of his shirt with a red mark on his face. Wanda is furiously yelling at the two men to stop with angry tears rolling down her face. And as the boys claimed, once they make their presence known, it all comes to a screeching halt. 

“Mom!” the twins call out as they rush to hug her. 

“Mommy is okay,” she says as she rubs their backs. “Pietro, let him go,” she quietly demands.

Pietro has a short battle within himself on whether or not to stop now. He has him in his hands. At his mercy. But if he doesn't stop now, then when will he? What was he or anyone going to benefit from him beating Vision to death? Vision has kids that would be without a father. And with the likelihood that Pietro would have to serve time in prison for murder, Luna would be without a father. Finally, thinking clearly, he lets go of Vision and steps away. Horrified by the anger that had taken over him.  

“I’m going to go clean up,” he says as he looks around the room apologetically. He stops by Billy and Tommy, he taps both of them on their backs. “I’m sorry boys, it's… a long journey to become a man. I will see you next Sunday. I love you,” he says to them. He heads up stairs and you worry that he might have injured his hands. Which might make him unable to work until they’ve healed. You stand at the front door and try to make yourself disappear so that nothing else happens. This wasn't your problem. You don't know their stories or dynamics other than the few details that Pietro has drunkenly shared with you a time or two over the years that you've known him. 

Vision straightens himself out and clears his throat. He looks at Wanda, “Mind if I…?” He tips his head towards the bathroom door. 

“Help yourself,” she says softly as she plays with her boy's hair. She looks down at their worried eyes and it's taking all of her strength to not break down. They're still so little and all she has ever wanted to do is protect them. She opens her mouth to say something but she has nothing to say. 

Vision comes out of the bathroom and acts like nothing happened at all. He lowers himself to his son's height and taps their shoulders so that they face him. “Come on boys, I have a very important appointment that we're late for.” He fixes Billy's glasses and dusts off something from Tommy's shirt. “It was going to be a surprise, but we're finding out if you're having another little brother or maybe you’ll finally have a little sister.” He looks up at Wanda and then looks back at the boys before the hurt in her eyes can fill him up with guilt. He rises and takes their hands. He bids Wanda a goodbye and thanks you as you hold the door open for him and the kids. 

“Are we going to see you on Sunday?” Tommy asks as they pass. 

You look at Vision, who lets you know he doesn't want you around with a simple glare. Next you look at Wanda, who's only focus right now is holding herself together in front of her kids. Finally, you look at Tommy and hold your fist up to bump. “Of course, pal. Someone has to fix that wall and between you and me, your uncle isn't as good as I am.” You smile at him. You shut the door once they're off the porch and as you're about to check on Wanda, she's running up the stairs. 

Her bedroom door slams and you hear the words “What the hell is wrong with you?” and “I don't need you to protect me!” You go into the boys room where the girls are sitting unaffected as they play the video game with noise canceling headphones on. 

“I was wondering why it was so quiet in here,” you say after you nudged the headphones off of Rachel's ear. “Where’d you get these?”

“Tommy and Billy,” she says. “We heard a loud noise and they told us to put these on.” She pauses the game and Luna is snapped out of her trance. “Hold on, Luna.” She says as the girl starts to get upset. “Where are Tommy and Billy?” She asks you. 

“They went with their dad, so it'll only be you and Luna for the rest of the day. Is that okay?” You ask, although you think you might be sent home early. 

“That stinks but I guess it's their dad's turn. Like what you and mom do with me.” Rachel frowns as she's bummed about not having her friends around. “I just wish he could have waited to get them until after I beat Tommy.” 

You laugh as you shake your head. “I’m sure his dad would have been happy to help his son lose.” 

Rachel nods, “I think so too. It helps build character.” 

You smile at your daughter as you recognize so much of her mother. You mess up her hair as you tell her as much. “I’ll let the two of you get back to it. Keep the headphones on. Okay?” 

She nods, “Okay.” She places the headphones back on and Luna perks up as the two can continue to play the game. You close the door behind you as you leave the room. Wanda's door was left open when you pass and you see her crying into her hands on her bed. You want to comfort her but you don't want to overstep boundaries that haven't been set. Thankfully, you don't get much of a choice as Pietro is calling you to come downstairs. 

He isn't on the main floor so you go down to the basement. You can't imagine what the place once looked like, but it must've been something special enough for Vision to fight to keep it. “I’m not going to ask you to help me clean this up,” Pietro says as he carefully places broken pieces of things into a black trash bag. “I’m sorry that I reacted the way that I did. I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. Especially not with the kids here.” He huffs as he looks at the mess he made and thinks about how horrified he would have been if his little girl walked downstairs and saw him. “I understand if you no longer want to help. Wanda understands as well and even offered to pay you. And you don't have to stay today. You and Rachel can go home now if you'd like.” He seems genuinely upset and remorseful. 

“Is that what it's always like between the two of you?” You ask as you cross your arms over your chest and lean against the wall. 

“No,” Pietro answers. “He’s been digging under my skin for years and when he went on and on about how everything was still his it sounded like he thought my sister is included in that. I,” he shakes his head shamefully. “He has put her through a lot. She isn't the person she used to be before him. And I hate him for it.” You nod as you listen to him. “I thought when he left her, that would be the end of it. But it’s been years and he’s still harassing her. I just… I don’t know how to help her anymore.” 

You grab a trash bag and put on your gloves to start helping. “Pietro, it isn’t up to you to help her with this,” you start, testing to see if he wants your advice or just your ear. He looks at you and he waits for you to continue. “I know you have good intentions but I think you might be doing more harm than good.”

“How so?” He says, intrigued by your take on the situation. 

“Vision isn’t going to listen to anyone but Wanda.” Pietro opens his mouth to argue. “Hold on, let me finish my thought.” He nods and lets you proceed. “Wanda might not be able to gain Vision’s respect as a co-parent and an ex partner if everyone else is fighting her battles. It might help her for the moment. But in the long run, it’s only hurting her. If she can’t grow confidence in her own strength, she will still be vulnerable to his manipulations. I know that you want to protect her, but she might be better off without your help when it comes to Vision.” 

Pietro slouches down onto one of the chairs he didn't break with a defeated sigh. “You’re probably right. I mean, this definitely didn't do her any good. Vision is probably speaking to a lawyer right now in order to keep me away from my nephews.” You nod along, the man did seem like the type to call his lawyers about every little thing.

“Your sister is clearly strong. She has the house and she has shared custody. I doubt Vision handed any of that to her.” You point out to help Pietro see that she doesn't need this kind of protection. 

“Actually, Vision made a prenuptial agreement that ended up backfiring on him. The lawyer that drew it up for him was a secret feminist and made sure that Wanda wouldn't be screwed over in case Vision chose to divorce her. He isn't as smart as he seems, he didn't read over the entire contract.” He shakes his head. 

“Oh, well,” you pause as you think of what to say next. You were trying to spin things positively but it was hard when you knew only pieces of the story. “She sure is lucky when it comes to people looking out for her, huh?” Pietro nods and gets up to continue cleaning. The two of you finish cleaning the basement in less than an hour and resume working on the wall for a couple more before it's time to go home. 

You volunteer to get the girls while Pietro packs up the tools he'll need for the week. Wanda's door is still cracked open as you pass. She is laying on her bed with a remote in her hand, searching for something to watch. “Pietro? Have you finally come to apologize,” she says with her eyes locked in the television. You mentally curse yourself for standing here long enough for her to notice you. 

“Uh, actually,” you say as you step a little past the door. “It’s me, I'm up here to collect the girls. Pietro and I are done for the day.” 

Wanda places the remote on her nightstand and adjusts her pillows behind her back. “So you're still willing to help with the wall? After all of that?” 

You shrug as you lean against the door frame. “I promised Tommy I'd be here on Sunday. I keep my promises, Maximoff.” 

A small smile flashes and disappears quickly on Wanda's face as she's addressed by her maiden name. It's been a long time since she's heard it without it being for her brother or her mother. “Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate that. As stuck up and punctual as his father is, he's not the best at keeping promises.” 

“Clearly,” you say in remarks to their divorce and mock Vision’s accent. “Actually, as a divorcee, I take that one back.” 

Wanda lets out a small laugh. “Ah, yes, the promises of having and holding until death. You couldn't keep those?” There's a lightness to her tone that makes you smile. 

You shake your head, “Nah, that's expert level. I was like what? Eighteen when I made those vows…” You shiver at the reminder and the intrusive thoughts of that someday being your daughter. “I don't think our kids can be friends anymore. My daughter isn't allowed to hangout with… people until she's at least twenty-five.”

Wanda laughs again, “Wow, I had no idea you were so young.”

You make a face, “I don't know if that's a compliment or not.”

Wanda covers her face with her hand. “I’m sorry, I know that sounds bad.” She removes her hand and plays with a loose thread in her blanket. “I just meant the way you carry yourself is someone much older than you are. Well… come to think of it, I don't think I had an age in mind for you. I just didn't think you were still in your twenties.”

You smile, “Had to grow up fast, I guess.” 

“I can't imagine what that must've been like at first,” Wanda says as she tries to imagine the place you and Jean were in when the two of you found out about Rachel while the two of you were still in high school. Wanda had one scare with her high school boyfriend, Simon Williams. It turned her world upside down and made her put her life into focus on her education and her career. Once she got her period again, she refused to sleep with him the rest of the time they were together. He ended up leaving her because of it, which hurt at the time. But she doesn't regret her decision to wait until marriage after that. 

“It wasn't terrible,” you say simply. “Maybe I’ll tell you about it someday. But for now, I have to get Rachel home. I have to make dinner and finish packing for our trip.” 

“Oh right! You two are going camping. I hope you two have fun. I won't keep you longer.” She shoo's you away and you thank her. 

“Do you think you'll still be up for drinks Friday night?” You ask before you step away. 

“I think that's a question for Friday, because I don't know how I'll feel then.” She answers honestly. 

“No worries, I'll ask you Friday then. Have a wonderful night, Wanda.” You walk away and enter the boys room to interrupt the girls game. 

Wanda grabs the remote to put something on as she tries to quiet the many thoughts and questions she has for you. Maybe she'll push through on Friday, regardless of how she's feeling that day. She grabs her phone and texts her best friend. Make me go out on Friday night. No exceptions. No ifs, ands, or buts. She sends before she can change her mind. 

Seconds later she receives a reply. You've made a dangerous request. But no worries, I've got you. 

Wanda hopes she isn't making a mistake for future Wanda who will probably only want to lay in bed all night watching a reality show or a reboot of one of her favorite childhood shows. Then an image of your smile pops up in her head and she relaxes at the thought of getting drinks with you and her friend. Everything will be alright.

Chapter 5

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @evenbeingcrazy1998 @olsensnpm @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiwritesfanfics @lizziesplant @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss

[francis-writes]

If we go by the book of *The Hunchback of Notre Dame*, and assume that Disney Claude has relatively the same backstory, it would mean his parents both died of plague when he was young which means he almost positively has the capacity for a raging mommy kink!

…..can you write more mommy kink Frollo, maybe a oneshot or headcannons where he has to get punished because he did something bad? It can be up to you how it all plays out! Thank you!

"Do I really have to do this?"

You raised an eyebrow.

"I told you, if you come without my permission, you get punished"

"How can I not come when you fuck me so good?"

You grabbed his face and pulled it closer to yours.

"Watch your tongue when you speak to me. And to talking back to your mom, or your punishment will be more unpleasant. Now take off your clothes"

Without bigger enthusiasm, Frollo started taking off his robe.

"But... mommy, do we have to do it Palace of Justice? Can't we do it in our house? What if someone hears us, or worse... walks in?"

"Then they will know that you get what you deserved" you replied absolutely calm.

"Bend over your desk"

You stood up and walked to the table under the wall. You looked at it with interest.

"How do you think, which one will be appropriate for you?"

"Small one, I suppose"

You chuckled and reached for hard wooden stick.

"I prefer you to remember this lesson" you came back to the desk. "Now, do you want to tell me something?"

"I am very sorry mommy, it won't happen again"

"I hope so. And remember, if somebody hears you, that's not my problem"

After these words, you took a swing and hit his bare butt. Claude gasped but he managed to hold back his groan.

"One"

After a moment you hit him again. And again. With a little breaks so the old sting wouldn't dull him to the new,  just as he teached you.

After fourth hit he moaned a little. After tenth he started crying.

"I beg you..."

"What's the matter, boy? Speak louder, I can't hear you"

"I beg you mommy, stop. I can't take it anymore"

"Are you sure?"

You hit him again and he gave out a short scream.

"How can I know you learned your lesson?"

He fell on his knees and hugged your legs, his tears were falling on your feet.

"I promise, mommy, I will be a good boy now, I will always listen to you, just don't punish me anymore!"

You put away the stick and caressed his hair.

"Fine, then, I believe you. Just don't break my trust"

He stood up and, still sniffing, he nuzzled his face into your chest.

[romione-trope-fest]

Title: Go For Two

Author: Edie K.

Trope: Cockblocker Harry (one trick pony)

Rating: Teen

Summary: Harry interrupts a clandestine snogging session. AU HBP

AN: Thanks to adenei for the beta help fleshing this out. And alternative title is Cockblock Inception.

~~~~~~

“We really can’t be out much longer. It’ll look suspicious if patrols are this late,” Hermione whispered, as Ron moved his lips along her neck.

“Just. Ten. More. Minutes.” Ron punctuated each word with a kiss before moving to a spot just behind her ear.

“Mmm, okay. Ten minutes. A lot can be accomplished in ten minutes,” she replied as she let her fingers flirt with the waistband of his trousers.

The door to their secluded second floor classroom was ripped open with a force so great that it banged against the wall.

“Fuck!” yelled Ron, turning toward the entrance.

“Harry!” shrieked Hermione, hopping off the desk she had been sitting on.

Harry slammed the door closed behind him. “Thank Merlin I found you!”

Both Ron and Hermione’s eyes widened. “What’s wrong?”

Harry panted. “Nothing’s wrong, I just… bloody hell.”

“Why are you breathing so hard?”

“I was in the dorm, watching Malfoy on the map. Since you two were on rounds, I thought it was a good time to see if I could figure out where he was going.”

Hermione sighed. “Harry…”

“By the way, what are you two doing in here?” Harry asked, looking around the dusty classroom.

Hermione flushed. “Oh, we—”

“What was Malfoy doing?” Ron interrupted.

“I don’t know! I was watching and he suddenly disappeared off the map. So then I started poking my head in classrooms and… well.”

Harry’s face suddenly bloomed a shade of red that put Ron to shame on his worst day.

“So what was Malfoy up to?”

“I didn’t find him. It was someone else.”

“What?”

“I uh, I saw Lavender and Parvati.”

Hermione’s brow furrowed. “What are they doing in a classroom after curfew?”

Harry gave a little chuckle. “Uh, snogging.”

“WHAT?” yelped Ron, voice cracking.

“Snogging?” asked Hermione.

Harry nodded.

Ron shook his head. “Wait, wait. Is this like when they went through that phase in fourth year where they were acting like they were French to impress those Beauxbatons students and gave everyone the two quick kisses on each cheek?”

“Definitely not cheeks and definitely not quick.”

“Was there tongue?”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. I was more distracted by the hands under clothes.”

“Oh fuck, are you seri—OW!”

Ron rubbed the arm that Hermione had just swatted.

“Don’t be gross!”

“I’m not being gross, I’m trying to assess the situation. We’re prefects, aren’t we?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “How would you feel if—I just mean that they deserve some discretion, even if they were breaking the rules.”

Harry sighed. “I hope they don’t think I’m going to tell anyone. Other than you two of course.”

Ron’s eyes widened. “They know you saw them?”

“Yeah. I tried to leave quietly but then I knocked a set of scales off a desk and that got their attention. I just lied that I was looking for you guys and ran for it. Merlin, this is so embarrassing.”

Hermione closed her eyes and rubbed her temple before responding. “Harry, they’re probably much more embarrassed than you and maybe even a bit nervous that you’ll tell everyone. They’re obviously hiding it for a reason.”

“Hermione, will you talk to them for me tonight? Tell them I won’t say anything. I’ll forget I ever saw anything,” Harry pleaded, hands clasped together.

Ron chuckled. “How?”

Hermione shot him a dirty look. “I’ll assure them that none of us will say a word.”

Harry exhaled and nodded. “Thanks.”

“You need to get back to the common room, Harry. Ron and I will finish up our rounds.”

“Yeah. See you up there.” Harry glanced at the map before opening the door slowly and stuck his head out. Once he seemed satisfied the coast was clear, he crept out, letting the door close behind him.

Ron threw his hands up, shaking his head in disbelief. “How does he always manage to find us and interrupt us? I swear Hermione, he knows we’re together and he’s taking the mickey. That’s the third time in two weeks! At least today he had a good reason.”

Hermione glared at Ron, hands on her hips. “You were awfully interested in my roommates.”

Ron threw his hands up, lips curving up slightly. “Oi, what do you expect?”

“It’s just so cliche. They aren’t together for your entertainment.”

Ron reached for her hips and pulled her toward him. “I know but here I am, kissing my gorgeous girlfriend, who had quite the set of wandering hands when Harry burst in the door and started going on about two attractive, albeit significantly less beautiful witches snogging. I mean, you can’t blame a bloke for having some questions.”

Hermione huffed as she threaded her arms around his neck. “Such a typical man.”

Ron leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. “You like it,” he muttered against her mouth.

Instead of answering him, Hermione moved closer, deepening the kiss for a moment before pulling away. “We can’t get too caught up. Harry is expecting us.”

Ron groaned but took a step back. “So you really didn’t suspect there was anything going on between them?”

“Not at all. I thought Lavender had a crush on you!”

Ron furrowed his brow. “Why do you think they’re hiding it?”

Hermione pushed her hair out of her eyes as she considered the question. “Probably for the same reasons we are.”

Ron snorted. “What, they’re also worried Harry will fall back into his brooding fifth year dramatics? I appreciate their consideration for us.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Not Harry specifically. I just meant that they likely don’t know how accepting everyone would be of their relationship.”

“Is it going to be weird for you?”

“Would it be weird for you if it were Seamus and Neville?”

“Kinda. I mean, snog whoever you want but it would feel strange to have roommates dating. Why do you think they were in a classroom though?”

“What do you mean?”

“Draw the curtains on one of their beds, cast some charms and you have all the privacy you need. Instead, they’re in a classroom, getting interrupted by Ha—” Ron’s words trailed off as he broke into laughter.

“What?”

Ron’s shoulders shook as he spoke. “I can’t believe that Harry cockblocked us so that he could tell us about how he cockblocked Lavender and Parvati.”

“Co—honestly Ron, must you be so crude?” Hermione said, biting back a smile.

“I guess technically he didn’t cockblock Lavender and Parvati because, you know. It was more of a—”

“Finish that vulgar thought and Harry won’t be able to block anything for quite some time.”

He chuckled and took a step closer. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted? I think you said something about giving me ten more minutes.”

“I think ten minutes have passed,” she smiled

Ron tucked her hair behind her ear and let his hand linger on her face. “Don’t you know the rules? An interruption by Harry restarts the clock.

Her fingers circled his wrist as she tilted her face up toward his. “In that, I believe I said a lot can be accomplished in ten minutes.”

[shubblelive]

— WASTED TIME

summary : after a so-called 'boyfriend bonfire' gone wrong, your heroic neighbour steps in and saves you. well, saves may be a strong word.

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing , reader breaks up with their nameless faceless boyfriend

pairing : neighbour!wilbur soot x reader, musicianbur x reader

pronouns : none (you yours)

featuring : neighbour!musician!wilbur soot, tommyinnit (mentioned)

word count : 1.5k

note : loosely inspired by that one episode of ‘friends’ loosely inspired by that one taylor swift song. i’m a simple creature.

the worst part about your apartment was hands down the stairs. you lived on the fourth floor and in traditional sitcom fashion, the lift didn’t work. you lived in a more rundown area, with a large population of starving artists in your building. some days it was fine. some days you skip down the stairs, smiling at the older couple that live below you, their door perpetually open. but some days you were late for class, hurrying down as fast as you could ignoring how incredibly undignified you must look before twisting your ankle and coming crashing down to the bottom.

and some days it meant dragging yourself up three flights of stairs, gripping onto the wall for support as you furiously wiped away tears. your boyfriend, god, you knew he was an asshole. but for the last year you’d been explaining it away; oh he’s just a little rough around the edges, but he was nice. and he loved you.

jesus christ, he loved you? you were an idiot.

“you alright?” wilbur stood at his front door, hair messy and holding a newspaper. he took in your appearance, shirt crooked with your sleeves pulled over your wrists. tear tracks stained your cheeks and you couldn’t even begin to believe how much of a mess you must have looked. “hey, what’s wrong?”

“nothing.” you sniffed angrily. “i’m fine,” you fumbled with your keys trying to stuff them in the lock. “it’s fine.”

wilbur rushed to your side, putting down his guitar case and putting a hand on your shoulder. “hey, hey, hey. let me help.”

you dropped your keys into his outstretched palm, and let him open your front door. the two of you had lived next door for over two years, but you wouldn’t say he was your friend. he took your bag, including the folder of papers you’d dropped during your wrestle with the doorknob. he put your things down on the kitchen table as you collapsed at the bench.

a glass of water was placed in front of you and wilbur spent the next ten minutes rubbing your back as you sobbed into your hands. after you finally calmed down enough, you looked up at him. concern flashed behind his glasses and you felt stupid. you were stupid.

“i’m stupid.”

wilbur considered his options; he could reassure you, or ask if you were okay. instead, he went with a hesitant; “aren’t we all?” it worked, and you let out a watery chuckle. “you alright?”

“men.” you laughed mirthlessly, and wilbur did too. you sat there in your tiny sitting room with your neighbour that you barely knew while his probably extremely expensive guitar sat in the hallway because he was too busy comforting you.

“that guy was an idiot,” he said after a moment. “real dead-set dickhead. always knew you deserved better.” you sent him an appraising look and he continued. “i did! one time i saw you drop your mail and he walked in, saw you trying to pick it up, and just went upstairs.”

you remembered that. it had only been a few weeks ago, and wilbur had rushed to help you. “happens all the time,” he assured you as you went to apologise. you had thanked him and gone inside, surprised to see your boyfriend there.

“guess you beat me home.” you’d smiled at him.

“i don’t remember that,” you said instead. wilbur nodded. “you should get your guitar inside before someone steals it. tara from upstairs has been needing a new one of those,”

wilbur just laughed, standing up. he gave you a small smile and you mustered one up as you watched him leave through the open door. you let out a shuddering breath as you stared intently into your glass of water. what were you supposed to do now that your boyfriend was gone? you were alone.

wilbur knocked on your open door frame, devilish smile on his face. “you coming?”

so you found yourself on wilbur’s living room floor, sitting with your head against the side of his knee as you watched a movie. his hand was resting on his leg, and he wanted to bring it over to your hair, but he resisted the urge.

that one night turned into two, turned into four, turned into twelve. afternoons spent playing scrabble on his kitchen floor and nights with his friends. you met his brother (he gagged when tommy introduced himself as such), his parents, his bandmates.

mornings became filled with you, your perfume on his pillows, your cereal in his cupboard. his fingers tangled with yours as he kissed you. always gently, full of love.

wilbur wrapped his life so effortlessly around yours that it was a wonder you had both gone so long separately.

but, of course, you couldn’t be together 24/7, and that seemed to be the moments you made the worst decisions.

your ex hadn’t taken his things in the eight months he’d been gone. you’d been seeing wilbur romantically for the past few months, and decided it was high time you got rid of it. he was out with the rest of the band, writing new music, so you were left to your own devices for a few hours.

you gathered all of your ex’s things, and shoved them in a box, taking it out onto the balcony. you could have thrown them over the side, but that didn’t feel satisfying enough.

instead, you dashed back inside until you found the box of matches, going to see what you were working with. there were notebooks in there, old t-shirts and other small things like photos. you took out a metal water bottle, chucking that down the trash chute before setting the rest of his belongings on fire.

it was definitely how you had pictured it. slow and satisfying, sitting back on the concrete as you watched the remnants of your relationship burn. the night was chilly, so the fire was nice. you pulled wilbur’s jumper closer to yourself, eternally grateful to finally be dating a man who loved to hold you.

it kept getting hotter and hotter though, which you should have expected. it’s a fire, it makes sense. but eventually the flames started getting a lot bigger. you’d brought out a bucket of water with you, you weren’t that clueless, but even after you dumped it on the box it still burned brightly.

“fuck,” you whispered, wondering if you could leave it unattended to go get more water. it was more or less self contained, but who knows what could have happened in the next few minutes? especially if you weren’t there. “fuck.”

you studied it for a bit longer, hoping it would give you some sign of signal it was fine to leave. the flames were still fairly sized, and you thought about just making a break for it and coming back with as much water as you could.

you were about to start running when another bucket of water was thrown over the box, this time more or less putting it out. it was a big box, and a small section was still smoking. however it was small enough that you could at least grab more water without being worried.

your boyfriend stood in front of the smouldering remains of your little bonfire, breathing heavily and giving you an incredulous look. “what the fuck was that?”

“it’s called fire,” you replied helpfully. wilbur was not impressed. “i wanted to burn his old stuff he never got. finish the chapter,” you looked down, knowing he was probably going to give you a gentle lecture of some kind. instead, he stepped around the charred remains of your ex-relationship and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“you okay?” he asked instead, forgoing the lecture. you nodded, and he gripped your hand. “i love you. you know that?”

you nodded again. “i love you too, will,”

“it’s okay if you miss him,” he said genuinely, “i know you were together for a long time. he means something to you.”

you let out a loud laugh, your voice getting lost in the abyss of the inky sky, being swallowed by the universe. “that man is nothing to me,” you corrected him softly. “the only thing he was ever good for is giving me all this stuff to burn so that you could come to my rescue.”

wilbur laughed at that one as well, pulling you closer to himself as you sat on the concrete of your balcony. “i’d do it a million times over,” he said, and you knew he wasn’t just talking about the fire. “just promise you won’t set fire to my stuff if we ever break up?”

you pretended to consider. “i guess so.” he chuckled gratefully and kissed you once more. “the things i do for you.”

[jeork]

TC Tag Game

As always I’m excessively late to the party, but thanks @renaultphile for the tag!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

I don’t have a copy of the book at hand right now, but while Laurie is visiting home for the wedding he goes on a walk and recites this weird incest-y song to himself, then contemplates how it always felt relatable to him. I’m not saying he would not fucking say that, because obviously he does and I hear him quite clearly. But I am saying maybe he should not have fucking said that. 

Also Ralph calling Bunny “Boo”. I don’t care how drunk he was, you don’t randomly slip out with a word you wouldn’t otherwise use. It’s part of his vocabulary. This one had me in contemplation for months, like, would he ever call Laurie that? Does this count towards the bad habits and lifestyle choices he wants to abandon while being with Laurie? Whole scene’s just embarrassing af 

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

I think they probably did, but that it was very chaste. I’m convinced the kiss between Laurie and Andrew is supposed to mirror it almost exactly. The way I see it, Laurie didn’t fully process it and therefore just stood there. From the flashback he got later on while holding onto Ralph’s sleeve while they’re in Ralph's room I think Laurie might’ve grabbed onto Ralph’s arm a little. But other than that I don’t think he did much, which made Ralph decide he wasn’t ready yet.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

I wasn’t aware this is something people discuss lmao, I’ve only thought about it once myself. Gonna be a party pooper and say he has none, as it's "improper"

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I feel like me and @renaultphile are the only ‘59 truthers. I think I once even wrote an entire post just on why I like that Mary cut the knee-touch?

Again, don’t have any book copies at hand right now, but I remember one small detail in the ‘53 I really loved. During Alec’s birthday party while he’s blowing out the candles everyone is looking at him, and for a moment there’s this shared feeling of hopefulness. In the ‘53 Laurie feels someone’s eyes on him, but by the time he turns around Ralph has already stopped looking. Something about Ralph glancing at Laurie in this moment, who’s presence represents so much to Ralph, makes me ache. 

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

I guess the obvious answers would be something like Hazell, Sandy or Bunny, but I feel like Andrew would run the most terrifically angsty aesthetic account. Also young Laurie, he'd probably write bad poetry or something

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

The two guys holding hands in dead silence, not because I can relate, but because they really set the scene. Or the petty shit-stirrer who snitches on Ralph having a boyfriend. Or the other petty shit-stirrer who cries "Here comes Bim"

7. Post a TC meme.

I used to run a TC meme account over on Twitter. I’ve planned on reposting all of that stuff on here sometime, in the meantime here’s one: 

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Dave. The Mature Wholesome Elder act he’s putting on at the end is pissing me off. Self-serving cu- 

Also, following the heavy implications that Alec had been snuggling it up with Bunny for quite a while, I think he got off pretty scot free 

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

I really wanted him to stay friends with Reg. I always felt like Madge’s Aunt Vera joke was pretty funny and well intended, albeit improper and terribly timed. It didn’t come off to me as her making fun of him for being gay. More like her trying to awkwardly bond over it, similar to Reg during The Bathroom Talk™. If Laurie hadn’t been so emotionally rattled at that time I feel like he would’ve played it off. It was such bad timing for him. So I wanna scream at him “Chill out, they’re clearly not out to get you!” 

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

I think there still might be a couple minor details, but I can’t remember them right now. The only bigger piece of dialogue that’s still a little intransparent to me is Ralph’s whole speech at the beginning of their post-wedding trip argument. I have my theories about it, but would also enjoy to hear more. 

Considering I’m over a month late and have no clue who did this tag already I’ll open it up to whoever might still wanna do it. 

[lixenn]

Beautiful Person Award. Once you are given this award, you're supposed to paste it in the ask of people who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out!🌸

@dreamieparadise

(Hope it's okay if i do this in one go)

Me: BRAIN!!!!

Brain, currently on standby mode: Whut?

Me: Brain people are calling me beautiful, how do I respond???

Brain, still trying to boot up: This again? How many times have you screamed at me about compliments? Three? Six? TEN MILLION??? Just accept it, say thank you and you're good to go!

Me, lip wobbling: B-but... I wanna show my appreciation, my sincere gratidude.

Brain: JUST SAY THANK YOU DIPSHIT! MAYBE ADD A CUTE LIL GIF IT'S NOT THAT HARD!

Me: YOU KNOW SILLY GIFS AREN'T MY THING BRAIN! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M WRITING THIS NONSENSE???

Brain: Gee, breaking the fourth wall now are we?

Me: Fuck off! It's late as shit, I can be as crazy and silly as I damn well please, if anyone is questioning my sanity I can just blame it on exhaustion.

Brain: You and your excuses... Anyways don't you have people to thank? I would like to go back to sleep anytime in this century.

Me, cursing out Brain under my breath for being a smartass: Sarcastic little shit *cough* Where were we? Ah yes gratidude... So! Thank you guys 💜✨🥺You are so very sweet, it warms my tired soul! You are of course beautiful and stunning as well, down to heart, body and soul. Lovely you stopped by, hope to see you again soon 🫡💕✨

Brain: See? Was it that hard?

Me: Oh, shut up.

[black-bentley]

TC tag game

Thanks for the tags, @spudodell and @renaultphile, sorry it's taken me so long to actually get to this!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag other TC fans!

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

Laurie to Andrew, at their first meeting:

"... I read somewhere once, Tchaikovsky was queer."

It just feels a bit... 0-100 at that point for someone as repressed as Laurie is.

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

I think they did, and it was very much a peck rather than anything more. And I think Ralph's main motivation for it was to try and shock Laurie into backing off to save him being (as he sees it) corrupted by their continued association.

It makes sense of both their reactions, for me - I can see Ralph semi-angrily planting one on him more or less out of nowhere and then, when Laurie is (understandably) startled, going, "Now you see what I mean..." and then just steamrolling over Laurie's attempt to talk about it.

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

I can see him having got one or two early in his career when he wanted to fit in. But somewhere easily covered (and possibly where he can't easily see them himself?), as I think they'd offend his desire for order and tidiness otherwise.

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

I've only got the '53 edition to hand at the moment, but I think the hand on the knee in the car was cut for the '59... I like that little moment, it's just very clear what's going on there in comparison to a lot of their other interactions around that time.

I do also love the "Don't insult my intelligence" exchange that @spudodell picked out, I love Laurie - who's inclined to take himself a bit seriously - already being comfortable enough with Ralph to tease him like he does <3

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

Ralph. He'd be reblogging posts about polar exploration left, right and centre. And he'd be incredibly into The Terror but would never admit it.

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

I'm definitely the "is it a queer book?" guy.

7. Post a TC meme.

Not actually a meme, but it always makes me think of TC...

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Possibly controversial - Alec. He doesn't seem to care about Sandy's feelings or respect him all that much, and strikes me as someone who likes being in a relationship so they've got company when they want it, but isn't all that interested in actually making a commitment himself.

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

I'd tell him not to dismiss Reg as abruptly as he does. That friendship could definitely have continued, because Reg clearly knew Laurie was queer and was determined to (albeit clumsily) make the point that he didn't view him differently because of it.

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

What was in Ralph's letter to Laurie, the one that was returned after Dunkirk?

I'm pretty sure everyone has already been tagged but if anyone hasn't, and wants to join in, then please do!

[carrotcakecrumble]

The Charioteer tag game: thanks for the tag!!! I’m so sorry i can’t find who tagged me originally it’s been so LONG but im very grateful this was very fun

1. "He would not fucking say that" only they did and it's canon. When/who?

im sorry but the way Laurie reacts to Gyp’s death girls like. where’s your drama gone girl. your energy, your passion, your over-thinking and over-the-top displays of emotion?????

2. Did they kiss in the study? Yes/no + why you are 100% correct about this.

Ok yes but no but also yes? but also no. but also YES and also no but maybe yes but definitely no except yes?

(Basically i like both the idea that Laurie leaned away and also that girlfriend leant IN, i think Ralph’s reaction makes sense for both right? and i like the implication both outcomes would have throughout the book equally 💅)

3. Mandatory question about Ralph's alleged tattoos.

YES and so much yes i wrote a fic about it. I would also like to add that he definitely has a trampstamp. Can’t say of what at this point in time but let me ponder for a little while

4. 53 vs 59 edition: quote a line or paragraph that is better in the edition you like the least.

Ok so five minutes ago i would have said no clue, but I’ve just seen that bitchery (59) vs cattiness (53) thing and sorry but bitchery goes so hard. Alec’s catty, laurie is bitchy. there’s a difference.

5. Which TC character would feel right at home here on tumblr dot com?

Someone said Sandy and yes definitely Sandy one hundred million percent.

6. Tag yourself at Alec's birthday party.

The ‘is it a queer book?’ guy like CMON. Maybe also Alec’s mystery sandwich, not gonna elaborate. oh and you know how Harry turns up late, embarrasseshimself a bit and then leaves? yeah me too.

7. Post a TC meme: im sorry but this is still the best thing I’ve ever made, i know no one else likes it but the thing is. i find myself really entertaining and clever and funny so.

8. Easy to talk about who deserved better. Who deserved worse?

Ok girls you’re gonna hate me for this and i even hate myself for this but ,, we ever gonna talk about how Reg was one laurie-sticking-his-nose-in away from going and killing a man? and maybe Madge?????? Wasn’t that implied??? some anger-therapy is needed atleast

9. You can break the fourth wall (at any point in the novel) and say a single sentence to our protagonist, Laurie Odell. What do you say?

LOOSEN UP GIRL PLEASE. I BEG. JUST A MILIMETRE LESS UPTIGHT PLE ASEEE I PROMISE LIFE WILL BE SO MUCH MORE FUN. and i wouldn’t say it at a specific point but rather just gently prompt it throughout the entire novel very frequently when he starts to become unbearable

10. What's a question you have about TC? One you haven't found an answer for yet.

HOW DOES RALPH KNOW WHAT HAZEL’S UP TO. DO THEY KEEP IN TOUCH? AND WHY? AND SINCE WHEN? AND HOW?

[youknowwhoiamperiod]

hello ariel!

would you tell me something mermaidghost? anything you want to talk about for the ship, something you’ve been dying to share but just haven’t had the chance yet, or a little detail you think should get more love. your choice!

xoxo sunnie (@fic-over-cannon)

sunnie sweetheart heyyy!! you've been on my mind all morning during english class since the topic this semester is film analysis hehe,, i'm so sorry it took me so long to answer this i've just been so busy preparing for uni :((( hope you've been well!!

aaaaaaa simon has been on my mind way too frequently this summer and i fear the brainrot is only getting deeper... ever since i discovered the cod franchise he's been my fav among the 141 mainly cause he reminded me so much of jason (specifically ak) but also not at all?? they're so similar in their critical thinking and acting but simultaneously could not be any more different? like. i don't know. and he's just so fascinating as a character it's dizzying. his persona just opens up so many possibilities and i thought my interest was tamed and moderate at first until aurore started cod posting... unleashing a beast within me....

mermaidghost is a ship that originally was intended to be very tragic. i'm a psychologist hired to work with the 141 studying their ennemies and targets but also keeping track of their mental state... and in all honesty simon's character is not just a walking red flag he's a literal siren sounding. trying to break through him for professional purposes is already a challenge and i don't think he'd necessarily be the worst person to date ever and beyond saving but i wanted to keep it realistic so knowing myself i really wouldn't be able to go on with someone like him. but somehow angel aurore once again broke my fourth wall and i decided to opt for a happy ending but we (he) have to work for it and it takes us a break and years apart to finally come around, making you question if it was truly worth it...

i think what i love the most about this ship and i told aurore about it is the implication that comes with it!!! i'm thinking of a man who's been turned to a weapon meant to destroy every human life he's ordered to. one who makes his adversaries wiggle in fear at the sight of his shadow because they won't live long enough to get a grasp of the brute of a man standing behind them. a silence broken by a bullet sounding is the last thing they hear as it pierces through them and a haze slowly falling upon their eyes before the light flickers out of them, a blurry ghost mask being the last picture they have of this world. a man who has been hardened by his past and time on earth over and over again erasing any type of fear from his dna, a foreign feeling that he's now overwhelmed with as the terror of falling for his best pal's little sister who's desperately trying to break into his psyche befalls upon him. a woman who's laying down her life for the belief of resurrecting broken human lives by the power of the brain and giving everybody a chance for a peaceful life. he's so tormented cause he doesn't deserve to be haunting the mind of someone who stands for everything he's been trained against and he doesn't deem it fair that i'm wasting my time on trying to get him to love me when he's the least deserving of affection and a coward who hides behind a mask, a ghost, the cage locking simon riley from this world. it's such a complex and delicate situation like he holds himself in the lowest standards and i'm just trying to get him out of his own head to realize that he's worth so much more...

anyway i've rambled a lot but he's truly been eating at my brain and i just love love love this type of dynamic... thank you sm for indulging me sunnie sweetheart mwah!!!!

[theoddcatlady]

I'm Addicted to Eating Bugs

I suppose it started small, like all addictions do. I was in the first grade, having some corner time because I threw a crayon at Brandon's head. He totally deserved it but that's another story for another day.

Anyway, I was facing the brick wall, imagining horrible fates for this jerk of a classmate when I heard a quiet buzzing. I looked by my feet to see an old cobweb, spider long gone but the dusty threads still managing to capture a fly. It wiggling and squirmed and if I hadn't interfered it probably would have gotten loose and carried on with its life. But before I realized it I had plucked the fly free and placed it in my mouth.

It buzzed furiously and it took all my willpower not to giggle, it was really ticklish. If I laughed, I'd end up opening my mouth and away it would go. I prodded at it with my tongue, feeling its wings flap uselessly against my cheek before I ended its life between my molars.

I swallowed and felt a lot better about things. Who cared about stupid Brandon anyway?

To be fair, kids eat stupid shit all the time. Glue, crayons, paper, I used to know a kid who ate sand and thought he was really stupid. Then again, I was only in the sandbox to hunt down ladybugs, so maybe I didn't have room to judge. But all those kids left their weird eating habits behind. I didn't. Instead, my habit grew.

At recess I'd spend all my time hunting bugs. I'd bring along a lil bug box and my teacher would just assume I'd want to study the insect world and let me be.

The easiest to find were worms on a day it had just rained. Those lil buggers were everywhere on the paving stones. Unfortunately they also had the least amount of payout. Worms taste like dirt. I mean, who's surprised though? Caterpillars were a lot better, so squishy but still slow enough for me to catch. Crickets and grasshoppers were a real pain in the neck. I had to learn to be patient and wait for the right moment to strike. If I didn't wait for the right moment, I would end up clapping my hands down on nothing at all.

But oh man, were they worth the effort. I didn't like putting them in my mouth alive so much, they kicked too much, but they had so much flavor and crunch. If I managed to find a grasshopper while hunting, I would consider myself one lucky kiddo.

I was never officially caught eating bugs until a few years later. I knew I had to keep my secret quiet. But when I was in fourth grade my class got a pet lizard named Lizzy. I know, really creative on names here, but we were kids so give us a break. But Lizzy needed to eat crickets a few times a week. I felt almost validated watching her munch down on them. But I also felt jealous. She could eat crickets whenever she wanted. I wished I could do that.

One winter day I decided to steal some of Lizzy's crickets. During recess I'd gone back to the classroom to get something from my desk when I realized I was all alone. This was my only chance to indulge. I crept up to the lizard cage, where the small cricket container was placed beside it. I opened up the top, snaked a handful of crickets, and threw those little buggers right in my mouth.

I had just closed my eyes when I heard someone gasp. I turned and saw Gabrielle, her jaw dropped as she stared at me. I'm pretty sure a cricket leg was poking out of my mouth too.

And of course, Gabrielle being a teacher's pet, she ran off screaming ‘Keith is eating Lizzy's crickets!’

I swallowed, feeling a lump form in my chest. My secret was out.

I managed to play it off as a joke, a one time thing. I was just curious as to why Lizzy liked eating crickets so much. I think Mr. Martinez found it hilarious. He ended up bringing roasted crickets to class next week, taking this moment to teach us how other cultures enjoyed eating all kinds of bugs and prepping them in unique ways.

I never felt more sick in my life. Although being salted and cooked did bring out the flavor, I ended up barfing it up later. It just. Wasn't the same. They were barely even bugs anymore. It was just like eating potato chips or almonds. There was no thrill of the hunt. None of that excitement as they squirm in your mouth. The joy when you bite down, taking out a leg or maybe slicing them right down the abdomen.

I did try to stop after that. I really did. I didn't want to get picked on anymore and maybe it was a little weird that I kept eating bugs.

But here's the real problem. If I don't sate my appetite on bugs, I start craving… bigger things.

The whole glass was horrified to come in one morning to find Lizzy had disappeared, the lid tipped off the cage and our class pet nowhere to be seen. Much to my amusement, fingers were pointed at Gabrielle, as she was the one who fed Lizzy the day before. She swore up and down that she fastened the cage lid on tight, but it didn't matter. We tore that room apart and Lizzy was just gone.

I participated in the search, although I had no reason to. I knew exactly where Lizzy was. In my belly.

I didn't know why I had gone back to class that day, I just knew I needed to. I was alone, me and that lizard. I felt like I was on autopilot as I opened the cage and plucked Lizzy out by the tail. I dangled her over my mouth before I snapped her head clean off. Blood dripped in my mouth, a new feeling I had never gotten before with bugs. It felt so damn good.

When the high wore off though I felt so guilty I nearly threw her back up. I didn't, because that would really be a waste, I just got out of there. That night at dinner I didn't eat a damn thing, I claimed I had a tummy ache and that wasn't a lie. But I knew the cause wasn't that 24 hour flu bug going around.

So yeah. I realized quickly that maybe there are worse things than eating bugs. Winters were always the hardest, I had to make due with ants in the kitchen and daddy long legs in the basement. To my credit, I've only ‘snapped’ once since then, it was Christmas vacation at grandma's house and I just hadn't had the time to hunt. That poor cat. Everyone just assumed a wild animal had gotten to poor Fluffy, meanwhile I was trying to discreetly pick long white fur out from in between my teeth.

It's gotten simultaneously harder and easier as an adult. Harder as I need to eat a lot more bugs to keep the cravings at bay, easier as now I can just go to the pet store and clean out their supply of feeder crickets and mealworms. The cashier there thinks I'm cute and usually gives me a discount. She keeps asking to meet my geckos and I have to keep making excuses as to why she can't.

If the cravings get bad, I hit up another pet store and buy a few mice, maybe a hamster or a gerbil too if it sounds good. I eat those suckers while binge watching Netflix, sucking on the long tails and reducing their skulls to paste. It has worked for me so far. I don't have a girlfriend, but I have a decent social life. I think it's probably for the best I don't have a family. I don't want to snap one day around a small child, I’d never forgive myself.

But I'm a good uncle to my sister's kids. I send them gifts and always tell them cool bug facts, which they love to hear, especially the younger one, Ellie.

However… I think I caught Ellie with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar last week. The cookie jar in this case was a spider's web, and a fly wing poking out of her lips.

She said she was just curious as to why spiders ate flies, but I'm gonna be keeping an eye on her.